50 Scents
by August Michigan
Summary: Pepe Le Pew embarks on a mission to save Penelope Pussycat from Yosemite Sam. Rated "K."


_The 3__rd__ episode of All Hail Looniness,_

_written on May 6__th__, 2012_

**50 Scents**

Ringo T. Rabbit

It was springtime in France, to which place Yosemite Sam had gone for robbery reasons after learning that there was a lot of gold there. As he was robbing a pawnshop, Pepe Le Pew was in the other room, chasing Penelope Pussycat, who had gotten a white stripe on her back (_again_) from a freshly-painted park-bench, thereby causing the smelly animal to think that she was a female skunk, which altogether initiated their usual chase routine. "You may call _moi _crazy…_for you!_"said Pepe romantically as Penelope jumped onto a desk with the skunk in pursuit. By this time, Yosemite had taken notice of the noise that the 2 anthropomorphic animals were making, so he walked into the storage room where they were. "What the Sam hill is goin' on in here?" he demanded, opening the door. Penelope ran out and bumped into the front desk where Yosemite was "doing [his] dubious work," thereby causing pieces of the bandit's gold (which were the size of quarters, yet worth 30,000 _euros _total) to fall down and stick to the still non-dry stripe on her back. "Hey! That is _my _gold! I stole it fair-and-square!" said Yosemite as he fretfully chased after Penelope. "Do not vurry, my little candy-cane; I'll save you from ziss _bandit_! _Vive l'amour!_" vowed Pepe with passionate heroism as he ran after Yosemite. Meanwhile, Penelope had gone into an alley, where she thought that she was safe from that amorous skunk as well as that gold-desirous bandit. In which case, she didn't know them very well, did she? Unbeknownst to the cat, Yosemite was atop the building that she was leaning against while holding a fishing-pole, which he intended to use to "reel" her upward towards him. "This will teach ya to mess with _my _gold, ya foolish, gold-stealing cat." said Yosemite, lowering the fishing-pole. "_Au contraire, monsieur; I _shall be Z vun who ville be teaching _you._" said Pepe from a balcony 2 floors below as he grabbed the fishing-pole's hook and pulled it so hardly that it slipped out of Yosemite's hands. "_Ooh!_ That makes me mad! You'll pay for this, ya smelly varmint!" said the bandit as he angrily stomped his feet. "Really, _monsieur_? Ville 10 _euros _cover it?" asked Pepe, taking his wallet out. "Mercy, no! My _30,000 euros' _worth of gold is the only payment that I'm a-gonna accept." retorted Yosemite as he pointed at Penelope. "Oh, you mean my girlfriend's 'jewelry?' Vow. _Belle_ _and _valuable." said Pepe, looking at Penelope fondly. Yosemite grunted furiously, left via the stairwell of the building that he was on top of, and returned a moment or so later with an ACME Stripe-Remover/Blow-Dryer, which he pointed at Penelope (it worked long-distance). The cat's stripe was instantly blown off. "You are a _cat_, cupcake? Oh, vell. If you can't beat zem, join zem." said Pepe as he painted over his white stripe with a can of ACME Portable Black Paint. The gold slipped down the alley with Yosemite in pursuit…or, at least, he _was _in pursuit until he fell down an open manhole. "Zat _bandit _is really 'voshed up' now, eh, _cherie?_" remarked/inquired Pepe as he tightly embraced Penelope despite the cat's efforts to escape. "Look vut I have: _mistletoe!_" said the skunk as he took out a mistletoe and raised it above his head. Terrified, Penelope escaped from Pepe's embrace and ran away as quickly as she could. "Vait for _moi, _baby!" said the skunk as he chased after Penelope. During the chase, Pepe unintentionally disgusted all of the passersby (not to mention Penelope, who'd tied the flaps of her scarf around her nose) with his skunk smell. A street-performing band noticed this and thereupon sang the following parody of _Jingle Bells: "Jingle bells, that skunk smells like a rotten egg! I feel bad for that cat and hope she gets away! Hey!"_

_**The very smelly end!**_

**Character creation credits**

Yosemite Sam: Isadore Freleng

Penelope Pussycat, Pepe Le Pew: Charles Jones


End file.
